Thin, tingling air above my head and then, a silence like the final end. For just an instant. And then, the words exploded in my mind. And then, the puzzle of my life was finally complete. A truth that shone the Light while purpose was revealed. An understanding from the highest peak into the densest corners of the ground undressed me of all doubts for a time I could not measure. The Joy had filled in all the gaps.
Until… ‘But how can I do this? I am not trained or schooled for this, have no resources for such a task. And where do I start?’ ‘Have faith! You can!’ ‘Sure, I’ve been hearing these words since childhood! You can, you can do this, please, only you can do this… I’ve had enough, you know?’ That old feeling (hand in hand with the injustice or the sadness stirred up by the world) erased the incredible joy that renewed my being before. The few moments of undetectable time when “I” was “Us”, when the infinite field of possibilities unfolded itself inside the limited field of the human mind.
I now look back and see that, indeed, ‘I’ could. (For a while.) Not because I had faith in myself (because I could never understand this thing, I could never relate to or find its hidden drive), but because I had faith in god-absolute love-absolute beauty-absolute wisdom-absolute power. If something is meant to be, it will be. And ‘I’ am just an instrument for its fruition. The soul – a seed; the mind and heart – a stem. The flower is the blossoming of god.
Daffodils made it!
Their love facing snow’s blizzard
life’s purpose revealed.
Grateful for this miracle in which I could not believe when, three weeks ago, a heavy snow covered the little daffodils in my courtyard, I now wonder if faith is different than love. I thought I had lost faith, but now I know I drifted away from Love.
The Daffodils have proven the way!